Why Being “Creative” is a Curse + a Cure and Why Art School Made Me Feel Less Like an Artist.

Being creative can be a curse and a cure. I constantly hear, ‘omg you’re so crafty’, ‘ya know I’m just not creative’ and my favorite, ‘I wish I was creative!’. Well, in all fairness, no I am not “crafty”, in fact that is one of my least favorite words of all time. 

We as humans, are indeed creative. We have to make creative decisions every single day. From the clothes we put on our backs, to the blankets we throw on our bed, to the foods we eat, to the way we live each day; we create each day to live. 

For myself, as an artist, I must create. Something that has become apparent over the past years, is I love to share. I crave to inspire. Am I always proud? Hell no. Am I always confident? No. I suppose it’s the same way for an athlete perform/reach a goal. For a chef to serve. For a pastor to preach. Its all in the same–this urge to spread the conversation of creation. Something that I have noticed for myself is that I am greatly affected by my environment. If its not cutting it, if its not inspiring me, then I am out of there. I need to reach that stoke to the point where I can put my mark on it as well, within my work. Since I was 16 I have been able to conform whatever space I was willing to get (paint on) and convert it into my studio. Whether its been a small conformed space or an opportunity to buy a ticket and just leave. Creating these opportunities for yourself are crucial within the creative process. 

 When I was 19 I moved to Norway.

When I was 20 I moved to San Francisco.

When I was 22 I moved to Italy.

Part of this pattern is also a curse but a cure. I need to be on the move. I need to be like a shark, “constantly moving forward, or else it dies” – Woody Allen. Yes it drains my bank account. Yes I have to say a lot of goodbyes. Yes it comes with a lot of independence. I remember when I had the opportunity to be surrounded by so many individuals my age in Sweden and Norway where it is uncommon to go to university after high school. This made me feel so much safer in choosing an alternative route after high school. The world was my text book and all I wanted to do was see the world. With the help of loved ones, and endless support from my family I got to do just that. I feel so grateful. But I was also running away. I didn’t want to face America’s norms. I also was pretty burnt out of everyone in my life.

(Okay I’m going to throw a lot at you here, i’m crunching in about a year and a half into a paragraph.)

Ironically enough I was abroad when I realized I was ready to go back to school. Which I thought at the time was *private* art school. Sure enough after returning back to the states thats exactly what I did. I applied and I got in. I moved to San Francisco with about $400 in my account ready for anything and no fear in the world. Once I was admitted, plus granted scholarship, I was on top of the world. I felt more confident in any decision I have ever made, still to this day.  Everything felt in tune. Private art school: check. Beautiful, historical studio apartment in Haight Ashbury: check. Best friend and roommates: check. New friends, new opportunities, FUN, FUN, FUN: check. I had a good paying job, I started singing in night clubs, integrated myself in to the arts community, I was painting, I even started recording my first album. But of course, just when you think you have it all, life happens to kick you off your high horse. This for me was  a new occurrence. Since my life was so care-free I was honestly used to getting everything I wanted. But then I had to move back to Oregon.

 I quit my job, I got kicked out of my apartment, addicted to drugs, slowly turning into an alcoholic at 21 and pushing everyone important to me out of my life. Thinking I had I had it all under control I really had to look myself in the eyes and ask myself what was best for me. 

 I begged my family to support me in going back to give it one more shot, because after all, I got into my ‘dream school’ and I didn’t want to lose that. It felt like it was all that I had.

After a lot of teeth pulling, I moved back to SF and into my school’s housing  on a housing scholarship. Free housing in the most expensive city in the U.S?!  Wow, everything happens for a reason, right? I started seeing a psychiatrist, per my families request, I started taking medication and  pretty much turned into an anti social weirdo, trying to fit myself into this little bubble that I was in before I left the city. I kept singing, I kept going out, I kept trying. Little did I know, my beautiful, private school’s housing was in the fabulous neighborhood of the Tenderloin district. Well, If you aren’t familiar with the cities districts, the Tenderloin, a.k.a ‘the heart of the city’, is where the homeless population is the worst it’s ever been, and if you ask me, probably the worst on the West Coast. Walking to school every morning to my glorious $70,000 education  was like Hiking through shit and heroin needles. It kind of reminded my of a really scary, dark comedy… and to be honest, everyday I sort of felt like I was living in one. But hey, I was studying film and granted this made me want to be this bad ass, successful, female film director that the school was pushing for me to be. After all Katherine Bigelow is an alumnus, and after all my professor was a Coppola, but at the end of the day, I was exhausted, I was paying an absurd amount of money, to ultimately, paint. I had no real friends, felt this weird emotional relationship with the city, because it wasn’t the same city that I had fallen in love with when I first moved. 

 I’m not just here to shit on the institution, I learned so much about fine art, contemporary art, art theory, contemporary practices, etc. I had different career goals everyday! However, the struggle that I was experiencing living in SF after two years did not become worth it. The expenses people are paying to live in a city that is experiencing a technology takeover, made me feel like art wasn’t the answer any more. It was money. The history of the school, the history of that city (which has always been my first attraction) wasn’t making up for it. Before I started school, making  a living as a hostess/waitress in the mission district, I got to experience the city that I needed at that time in my life. I needed to experience that 2:00 am jazz scene on a Monday night, the nocturnal souls who’s life dedications and passions were for art, culture, humanity. What I wanted to feel, what I needed to feel. Art school was teaching me that money didn’t matter. Money shouldn’t matter when it comes to making your art. But why did it seem like everything surrounding the city was money, money money. The only reason I could afford to be at that school was because of money, money, money.  I had peers living in their cars, peers camping on the campus to boycott the school’s cost , peers experiencing severe addiction problems, severe adolescent breakdowns right in front of my eyes; for their art. Yet, here they were, sacrificing so much, to be in college? Wait, I thought college was supposed to be the “best” time of your life.  If you know me well enough, you’ll know I am a very positive person and I make the most out of anything, but after experiencing what I experienced before I started school, it was a very confusing time in my life, and my work suffered greatly from it.

When I was 16 years old, and discovered Instagram, I saw how I could brand my name, and brand my art/ build my audience. At the end of the day, I want to be my own boss. I don’t want to be building someone else’s brand when I can be putting that time towards building my own. We are all born with a gift and we are all born with dreams. We also, all go through hardships. We can also all overcome them. Who ever knew that pursuing something that brought me more life than anything in the world would be so damn challenging. 

Success doesn’t happen over night and because of these occurrences I step into decisions with a lot more caution. I also have overcome huge barriers within my health. I have learned to talk about my physical and mental health openly and honestly. Which I believe is something that needs to happen more from major influencers in our society. Especially, in my generation.

Being creative can be a curse and a cure. Without my chapter in San Francisco, I wouldn’t have learned some serious life lessons. I wouldn’t have met half of the amazingly, dynamic people that I did. Plus, valuable connections in art, film and music. Being at art school made me feel less like an artist. My entrepreneurial spirit felt broken and I was stuck in my head. I took the opportunity to move to Florence, Italy and study abroad. This is when things really were put in perspective for me. Going to another art school, made me care less about my own business, artists started to freak me out, and I sort of lost my identity within my work. 

Which is why I am transferring to Portland State. I am pursuing more of a business degree to offset my creativity. I feel like having all eggs in one basket towards your creative endeavors can be a dangerous decision. I think this is when balance is very important as an artist.

I want to remind you, this is just my story and everyones is different. I think honesty is the key in everyones journey. Social media can make us look like we’ve ‘made it’ or it can make us look like we haven’t changed. I think the key to remember is that we are in a generation that is  being developed into a society that lives plugged in and ON the grid. At the end of the day, we are all human, and we can really learn from each other. So share what is important. Share to inspire, and share to educate. We are all one and we are all this journey together. 

If you are struggling in your creative journey please reach out ❤

xx

DW 

PURPLE SWEET POTATO GNOCCHI W/ CARROT TOP PESTO


 

Happy Friday Friends,

I want to start today’s post with a little ‘food for thought’ 

“Do it yourself and they’ll come to you”

We often wait for people to do “it” for us. Whatever that “it” is, it could be a job, a trip, a new house, a new diet, a better lifestyle. Or perhaps we hold back because we see someone doing it better than us.

But guess what? Sometimes that is completely setting us up for failure and in a media obsessed, self-obsessed society, everyones trying to share, share, share. But at the end of the day, just because it’s 2018 doesn’t mean we are any less human than we were 50 years ago, before the social media craze.

I am sharing this because, as an artist I feel self-doubt and I feel insecure often with sharing my work. As an entrepreneur I want to compete and I want to be successful at it. Being a Leo doesn’t help with that either…wink wink.

We are becoming WAY too aware with each-others lives, and the negative side to this is that our population is expanding by the second.

My advice to anyone that is experiencing negative emotion and self doubt in their work is, do some chakra meditation (here is my favorite guided mediation), turn off your phone for more than a day (I dare you), and pour your heart into your passions. Whatever they may be, they are your calling, they are your fire and soul. They are there for a reason! Utilize them. Don’t criticize them.

Why am I sharing this? Well this recipe goes hand in hand with my current ideas that are very new to me.

I was feeling utterly creative with this recipe.

My dream is to have my own food truck and eventually have my own café.

At my café I want to encompass raw and vegan food with an artistic flare that no one has seen before.

I want to have fresh juice, smoothies, raw desserts, salads, and later re-open for globally inspired, vegan fine-dining.

This would most-definley be on the menu!

PURPLE SWEET POTATO GNOCCHI:

INGREDIENTS:

  • Organic Purple Sweet Potato Gnocchi (courtesy of Market of Choice)
  • Gluten Free Flour
  • Water
  • Pink salt & Pepp.
CARROT TOP PESTO: 

FULL RECIPE & INSTRUCTIONS HERE!

ENJOY & Please comment below with any questions!

If you decide to try this out please let me know! 🙂

XX

DW

SAVE OUR OCEAN

Hey Everybody,

Happy Saturday. Although I wouldn’t say, I’m toooo happy, more shook and shocked and really feeling like I need to something NOW, after watching probably the best documentary I’ve ever seen last night. In honor of watching A Plastic Ocean on Netflix, I want to bring forth this issue through my art as much as I can.
As you know, I paint waves, and for a while i’ve been really stumped on why it is I paint waves/ why I haven’t been painting more of them (as they got the most press over any of my work). I don’t surf nearly as much as I’d like to. I don’t live on the ocean. I don’t take surf photography, yet, when I was about 16 years old I started painting waves after downloading instagram and following surfers accounts and surf photographers accounts. Some of my favorite like Kenji Croman, Chris Burkard even reached out to me to feature my work of their photos, which was beyond humbling and made me even more stoked to further this series. As life tends to do, I moved around, started traveling more, searching for the meaning behind my work, and stopped painting.
For a while, I have really been contemplating this idea behind why the heck I was so focused and driven to paint these waves when I was so young and for years now, I have been trying to find a way to get back into it and feel that passion I have once felt. But for some reason it has not come naturally.
As an artist with a tremendous amount of anxiety and OCD around having the “perfect” studio space, having everything “in tune” regarding my intention in my work, and my studio space, I just haven’t felt it honestly, until now.
Watching A Plastic Ocean brought me to tears, gave me chills, even made me laugh at points in honest-to-goodness shock and despair in what human beings are doing to our ocean, and greatly, our PLANET.
Over the last 300-400 years we really have been able to start destructing.  This documentary is truly earth shattering in the TRUE FACTS and evidence of the harms of plastic on our oceans. The way plastic is killing sea life, contaminating our water and contaminating our bodies. It is affecting communities all over the world and we need to WAKE UP.

 

Are you recycling?

Do you choose plastic over paper at the grocery store?

ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW YOU ARE AFFECTING/MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN SAVING OUR PLANET?

WAKE. UP.

WE ARE DESTROYING OUR ECO-SYSTEMS.

WE ARE DESTROYING OUR OCEAN.

WE ARE DESTROYING OUR PLANET.

Surfer Magazine // Panama Edition
Original Photo Taken By: Chris Burkard

HIBISCUS COCONUT CREAM BARS


Dear Readers,

HAPPY FRIDAY!

I have been so eager to share this post with you, mainly because I have been needing to write and because I am the most proud of this creation due to the color I have invented purely from plants, as well as the top photo I took (might be my best).

If I haven’t introduced myself already, my name is Doone Lupine Williams and I am 22 years old. I am currently residing in Sunriver, Oregon (where I was conceived) for the summer. I like throwing that little fun fact in because Sunriver/Bend, Oregon has become the new trend capital of this state I call home, and the fact that this really is where my roots were laid (no pun intended) and the fact my family has been here since 1971, makes me a tad pretentious in tourist-ville.

HOWEVER, today I have officially been hired as a server here at Sunriver Resort, and I am actually really excited. I tend to hermit up in my studio & of course, my kitchen, which eventually turns me off to most human beings and I end up hanging out with more plants than people… SO yay! I am re-entering into society as every college student should over the summer. 🙂
(at least that’s what our parents tell us to do)

If it were up to me I would have been smart, and saved more money from my trip to Italy, bought a VW bus with a kitchenette, and done all my food blogging from various spots around the PNW.

OH HOW I CRAVE FOR THE DAY I CAN HAVE MY OWN VAN! 

Remember, I did go to a Grateful Dead show in my mom’s stomach in 1995 (the year Jerry died), so it is in my DNA to be a bit of a wandering soul. 😉

ANYWAY BACK TO MY DELICIOUS CREATION!!

These pretty things are:

creamy

 coconut-y

aesthetically pleasing

100% plant based

*no food dye*

RAW

VEGAN

dairy free

cruelty free 

 

My Hibiscus Coconut Cream Bars are the SH*T.

I literally spent all day yesterday in the kitchen and it was AWESOME. or should I say RAWSOME?!?!

I went to the Bendlandia farmers market, got loadsss of fresh, organic, local  produce, I met local farmers, tried local biz’s goodies, like kraut and mushroom butter and lavender lemonade. I bought fresh PEONIES and the largest Rhubarb I have ever seen. Plus, I actually tried rhubarb for the first time! I really like it and I want to know your favorite Rhubarb recipes. Somehow I have already managed to make a rhubarb purée and am planning out a wonderful vegan rhubarb strawberry pie for ya’ll!

See those cherries?? Yeah, I have already eaten all of them. 🙂

Now, lets focus on what I’m actually writing about…

HIBISCUS COCONUT CREAM BARS!

FIRST OFF, it’s the cashew coconut layer that makes these babies so special.

{and the fact that they are purple}

 

you’re going to need a plethora of healthy things for the cashew layer. and this layer alone is worth exploring.

SO this is the OG cashew coconut dough , it taste’s better than your favorite cookie dough and can be eaten RAW without being afraid of it giving you salmonella!

Oh, the joys of being plant based…

you could sculpt this into balls and chill as cookies, throw in your favorite dairy free ice cream as cookie dough, or use it in a wild creation as I did!

so yummy I could not stop licking the spoon!

COCONUT CASHEW LAYER:

  • pitted dates
  • coconut oil
  • almonds
  • cashews
  • dried/shredded coconut
  • organic coconut milk
  • maple syrup
  • cardamom

Blend in high speed food processor and should look something like this!

HIBISCUS LAYER:

Blend in high speed blender, sweeten to taste, its going to taste a little bit like Kefir {drinkable yogurt} as the cashews make it a little bitter and so does the Jamaica, {not sure what Jamaica is? click my homemade Jamaica Recipe here  }

add more or less Jamaica to effect the color 🙂

HOMEMADE HIBISCUS MILK for your purple layer!

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. apply coconut layer to baking pan lined with foil or parchment paper
  2. let freeze for about 15 mins before adding coconut layer after sculpting layer evenly (should be a bit oily and easy to sculpt)
  3. apply coconut cream layer–as you’ll see I have one white layer and one purple layer, the white layer is just hibiscus layer recipe with out the Jamaica. The Jamaica adds a little bit of bitterness, but is mainly used for color 🙂
  4. get creative and mix accordingly to the color you want for the purple/hibiscus layer.
  5. let freeze for 4-5 hours, thaw/sit @ room temperature for about 7-10 mins before serving.
  6. serve with a pretty flower or top with powdered sugar/coconut.
  7. it tastes a lot like an ice-cream cake, so be prepared for a lot of napkins if you are going to eat it like a bar, or just serve with a fork.

 

THANKS FOR READING AND PUTTING UP WITH MY CRAZY RECIPES!

XOXO 

DW




 

 

 

 

COCONUT CHIA MOONCAKE

 

Dear Readers,

It is important that you know I only make desserts that can, yes, be good for you. That means *GUILT FREE* !!

DESSERTS THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU!

 

My coconut chia mooncake is:

CREAMY

COMFORTING

high in omega-3 fatty acids 

RICH IN FIBER

*PROCESSED SUGARLESS*

cruelty-free, dairy free

O R G A N I C

VEGAN




 

Ingredients:
  • 1 can organic coconut milk
  • 1 cup olive oil
  • 2 tblspoons apple cider vinegar
  • 2 1/2 cups  UNBLEACHED ORGANIC  all purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup chia seeds
  • 1  1/2 cup organic maple syrup
  • dash of pink salt
  • big dashes of cardamom
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla essence

 

Coconut Cardamom Frosting:

  • dashes of cardamom
  • powdered sugar
  • 2 tablespoons organic coconut milk
  • splash of vanilla essence

 

 

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees farenheit !

Serve and cut your moon!

Happy quarter moon and enjoy!

comment below ❤

 

X

DW ❤